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Davy9

Newbie

Posts: 4
Registered: 03-04-2010
Location:

posted on 03-04-2010 at 08:05

Newby

My predicament is and is not unique, I suppose. The common denominator is that like many men I focused my life exclusively around my marriage and now that it is over I have no real support network. Worse is that this is the 2nd time and I intensified the same actions trying to improve the 2nd relationship. So my plight is even more pronounced this time. But, to compliment that I am somewhat better prepared to manage it.

I am disabled. My 1st marriage ended after 28 years because of the disability. It was understood with marriage #2. She was/is a registered nurse. The deal: She worked and carried the insurance, I kept the home, paid the house payment, etc. It all worked out well. We had good $$$$, a very nice home with very nice things. The only debt was the mortgage which I paid (plus taxes and insurance). The problem: She had a son who did not want the marriage in the 1st place and over 5 years he succeeded in ending it. At the same time the boy has really ruined his own life. He worked at being a loser, she empowered and supported that (poor baby syndrome) and at 20 years the kid has NO assets and is a mommies boy. He got kicked out of the Navy in less than 12 hours time.

So we are divorced. But because of where we live and how we're set up we still all live together in a huge expensive home for sale in a down real estate market. I get treated like a pariah. The kid is a total ass. I keep up the house, take care of the pets, cook, shop, etc. She works and keeps most of her money. I use every dime I get to pay my part of the bills. The 20 y/o is unemployed, unemployable, steals and makes messes (shoves dirty plates in the furniture, etc).

And I know nobody where I live to talk with. They are all her relatives and friends. I do visit with my boys and my parents and have computer based interactions. All of my family is over 1000 miles away and I cannot leave this house in their care for even a weekend. Other than that it is 4 dogs who are nice but limiting. But, until this house sells I am stuck financially and physically. They will not care for this home and I have much of my personal nest egg in it.

So I now get to reinvent myself, again. I am here just looking for interaction, maybe some ideas and some understanding.

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ken

Senior Member

Posts: 142
Registered: 10-16-2002
Location:

posted on 03-04-2010 at 14:48

Walk away

I suggest if you do not have much equity in the house, go buy yourself new house while you still have good credit, then let this 1st house go it in to foreclosure. Housing is cheap and interest rates are low. Most likely she will take most of the equity anyways.

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Davy9

Newbie

Posts: 4
Registered: 03-04-2010
Location:

posted on 03-04-2010 at 17:43

Equity

Well there is loads of equity at stake and 'no' she won't get it all. I am a pretty nice guy but I'm not stupid. She's not taking out any more than she has invested and it is already settled in the divorce. I just hope I can sell this place ASAP.

mirandacruz

Newbie

Posts: 3
Registered: 06-25-2010
Location: Canada

posted on 06-26-2010 at 03:55

Why?

It is just so sad to hear that it always involves money. ;(..

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